Blanca, Sirah Nour, and myself went off to perform in Connecticut at an international festival. Our hostess was a woman of some interest to me. She was a very elegant Middle Eastern student; young and meticulously dressed in the most beautifully embroidered kaftan with matching head scarf, stylishly adorned, and fully covering her hair and bosom, suggesting a more conservative religious attitude. Still, she seemed overjoyed to see bellydancers and was wonderfully hospitable and accommodating..-- She had such a take-charge presence and seemed to execute her duties seemlessly. As she marched us up to our dressing quarters and we trailed along behind her, I suddenly became aware that her kaftan was just a bit too tight, thus revealing her subtly and seductively ample, swaying hips, -- I felt struck that I should even have noticed this, not only that it would not be something I would usually be looking for in a woman, and particularly because I wouldn't be expecting to notice such aspects on someone dressed for religious modesty. Then, short time later..... oh my god!, there from under her skirt I saw, peaking out, her SHOES!!!!!- VERY HIGH, VERY POINTY BLACK HEELS, like one might expect a dominatrix to wear-- 'Look Blanx', I exclaimed, 'she's wearing dominatrix heels-- wow, I guess we know who the alpha female of the night is' (and it wasn't any of the "sexy bellydancers" with our party hair, "thick" makeup and adorned bodies). This got me thinking, and later on ranting to poor Blanca on the long ride home (well, let me tell you, Blanca was very patient) about sexuality, femininity, power, and all that this conjures up regarding 'womanliness'; how bellydance fits into this picture , and why this is important to me, or now, for that matter, to any of you who may be reading this. Well, bear with me for a bit of written rant, and I will try to bring this bit full circle to some sort of conclusive summation.-- so here goes:
For a few years now belly dance has become quite a worldwide phenomenon-- bellydance is everywhere, in every country, dance school, and gym. Some in the dance world are now referring to bellydance as the 'new modern dance'-- But, why is this? -- the pioneers of modern dance, overwhelmingly women, wanted something different for themselves then the old defined roles: ballerina (slender, virginal, pure, delicate, and helpless), -- the bawdy dancer of clubs and bordellos, or the peasant folk dancer who re-enacted her roles as mother, housekeeper and field worker. (note the parallels to their actual societal roles) These pioneering women wanted to dance the dances that were expressions of their inner strengths and feelings, that were journeys within and statements of self-determination. Ruth St. Denis drew from the exotic and the ancient. Isadora Duncan wanted women to dance uninhibited by the conventions of victorian society-- to feel good about their physical bodies and to dance freely. Still other modern dancers concentrated on psychological, intellectual or analytical directions. They wanted modern dance to acquire not only artistic prominence but to enter within the protected realms of the university.
Blanca, Neon and I have been thinking and discussing this as of late. Blanca and I went to see one of these pioneering modern dance creators-- Nina Croll-- an elderly woman who had studied at Bennington College (an original modern dance think tank) and worked with such greats as Meredith Monk and Anna Sokolow. The evenings presentation was unpretentious and spartan in its simplicity-- plain costuming, little to no makeup-- uninteresting hair (simple and even a bit too casual). Great care was put into the groupings and movement formations of the dancers. The company was exceptionally well rehearsed and the whole piece was arranged with great purpose and thoughtfulness. 'This is the ultimate opposite of the in your face, party haired, made-up, cabaret dancer', I thought as I watched the piece unfold-- Toward the end I realized that I had been sitting there watching this band of young, lovely females, mainly teenage to young adult, and in all their moves and appearances had not gleened one single hint of sexuality, or seduction; no assertiveness toward the audience; no use of feminine wiles to get attention or predominate within the group. There was scant expression of ego, vanity, or competition-- they were oddly devoid of individuality-- no star stood out among them. Perhaps childishly playful, serene, serious, loving, motherly, delighted, skillful, thoughtful, but in no way shape or form, SEXY. Perhaps, it could be said, they were presenting a side of the womanly persona important to feminine history, like the woman suffragettes, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa-- shedding all of the superficial trappings that most woman fall back on to to increase their value within a society: beauty, sex, charm, coyness; manipulating the social environment to survive in the best manner possible.
This said, we return to the oxymoron of our sexy 'religious' hostess in 'modest' Islamic attire. Covered as she was she exuded desirability-- Now, compare to Tina Croll's open haired, scantily clad young ladies who were verging on sexless, egoless invisibility, yet so free and so Themselves'. ...However, are not both these pictures in some way expressing some form of the modern feminine existence, and the desire to be seen for Self, not as the property of men or hostage to the conventions of a society.
What women want for Themselves, this is the challenge. Why we women all over the world want to 'BELLYDANCE' !!!-- not to be showing off and exhibiting ourselves for thrills in front of men --- but, to be letting our inner fantasies, and selves and imaginations SHINE, flow forth and materialize out in the real world -- instead of remaining trapped inside us, in our dream lives, in a private little secret part of ourselves that no one else knows about-- Now that women have gone outside the home into the business world, obtaining careers and positions of respect and influence-- now they are pushing forth into a next level.... perhaps some sort of sexual revolution, but from within themselves-- feeling free to express sensuality, sexuality and emotion in a way that bespeaks of personal and physical freedom, that is not about control, or power based (or for attention, fame, fortune, or jewels) but mainly to tell the tale of the inner 'us', which includes without regrets or sense of shame that scary 'S factor word'.... you got it, ....SELF.
